Bully

   Children w/ disabilites/special needs may be a5t higher risk for being bullied

   Bullying Peaks at 11-12 year age range

   1/4 are bullied

   43% KIDS SURVEYED FEAR BULLYING IN THE SCHOOL BATHROOM

   1/5 admit to being a bully or "Doing some bullying" 

 

Consequences 

   Stresses of being bullied can interfere with school productivity

   Kids who are bullied are more likely experience depression 

    Bullying creates a climate of fear/disrepesct in schools diminishing the learning environment 

    Bullies are more likely to engage in other serioujs antisocial behaviors such as fights, vandalism, or stealing, drinking, nd dropping out of school

 

Adult Responce

   70% of teachers believe that teachers intervene "almost always" in bullying in situations. only 25% of students agree

   2002, a kid on a playground bullied a kid every 7 mins. During the time adult intervention is 7% peer intervention is 11% and no intervention is 85%

   Most reports agree that adults dramatically under4estimate the amount of bullying that really goes on. 

 

Types of bullies

1. Confident- Stereotypical bully who acts like he owns the place, no empathy, strong, and mean

2. Social- Spread rumors, gossips, verbally taunt others, socially shuns kids seen as inferior

3. fully armored- cool, unemotional, charming and deceptive to adults, vicious and vindictive to targets 

4. Hyperactive- struggles with grades, poor social skills, "He made me do it" excuses

5. Bullied bully- Target and a bully bullies to have a relief from feelings of being powerless

6. Bunch of bullies- "nice kids" that know what they'r4e doing is wrong but dont bully on their own

7. Gang of bullies- strategic alliance to gain power lack of empathy, and remorse, very scary group

 

Characteristics of bullies

 

1. Dominate others

2. Get what they want

3. Sense of entitlement, like they deserve everything they want

4. Powerful feelings of dislike towards those who are different from them

5. Don't accept responsibility for their actions

6.  Little empathy of others

7. Tend to hurt other kids when adults not around

 

 

Excuses bullies give (and get away with):

• “I was just playing around with him.”
• “It wasn’t my fault; he just went all ‘psycho’ on me.”
• “Gosh, you can’t even take a joke.”
• She cries and calls the other kid the bully.
• “He started it!”
• She counts on bystanders to support her “defense” to the crowd or the adult who questions her.

 

 

 

Target

1. New kid

2. youngest in school/class

3. Submissive, anxious kids with low self-confidence

4. A kid with odd or annoying behaviors

5 Kid who shows emotion easily 

6 Kid who look and acts physically different from most

7. Braces or glasses

 

Why “targets” don’t tell anyone:

• They are ashamed of being bullied.
• They are afraid of the bully “getting back” at them for telling.
• They don’t think anyone can or will help them.
• They have been told (and believe) that bullying is an expected and normal part of childhood.
• They might believe that adults are part of the problem, especially if adults are bullying them, too.

 

Warning signs of a child being bullied:

• Sudden lack of interest in school/daycare, refusing to go.
• Takes an unusual route to and from school/daycare.
• Grades in school drop.
• Wants to be left alone a lot.
• Is “starving” after school, says he lost his lunch money or wasn’t hungry at school (especially if it seems often).
• Lots of physical complaints (very tired, headaches, stomachaches, etc.).
• Stops talking about peers and activities.

 

The Bystander

 

Types:

1. Followers – take active part but don’t start the bullying
2. Supporters/passive bullies – support bullying but take no active part
3. Passive supporters – like the bullying but display no open support
4. Disengaged onlookers – do nothing, “It’s not my business”
5. Possible target defenders – don’t like the bullying, but don’t do anything about it

 

 

Why they don’t get involved:

1. They are afraid of getting hurt themselves.
2. They are afraid of becoming the bully’s new target.
3. They are afraid of doing something that would make everything worse.
4. They just don’t know what to do.

 

Bystander Excuses

• It’s too much of a “pain” to get involved.
• Kids don’t want to be called a “snitch.”
• It’s safer to be in the “in group” than be with the targets.
• “He deserved to get bullied, he asked for it.”
• “She’s a loser anyway.”
• “The bully is my friend.”
• “It isn’t my problem.”
• “That kid isn’t my friend, so why do I care?”

There are three basic family structures:  Authoritarian, Permissive, and Authoritative.

Authoritarian and permissive families help create bullies, targets, and bystanders who do nothing.  Authoritative families help create bystanders that are likely to stop a bullying situation in progress.  They also create kids less likely to become targets or bullies themselves.  A brief look at family structures will help you understand why.

 

 

Authoritarian

• Parents lecture, threaten, bark orders
• Important concerns – control, obedience, power
• Parent has absolute authority
• Threats of physical punishment
• Use of fear and humiliation
• Perfection is the goal
• Children have to be obedient to earn love and approval

 

 

Permissive

• Punishments and rewards are inconsistent and random
• Second chances are randomly given
• Threats and bribes are common since there are not set rules
• Little routine or predictable patterns, general chaos
• Emotions rule everyone’s actions
• “Love” is based on pleasing unpredictable parents
• Parents may be detached and neglectful, or smothering and emotionally tangled with the child

 

Authoritative

• Everyone has opportunities for decision making and learning responsibility
• Parents give supportive messages to their children daily
• Creative, constructive, responsible environment
• Discipline helps children’s learning in the home
• Rules are clear and easy to understand
• Consequences and privileges are natural or reasonable
• Children get smiles, hugs, and humor regularly
• Love is unconditional, given just because they are who they are

 

 

Bullying is a conscious deliberate act of aggression against someone who is weaker.

Bullying always includes the following three elements (markers):    

1. An imbalance of power    
2. Intent to harm    
3. Threat of further aggression

When bullying goes on unchecked, add a fourth element:    

1. Terror

 

Imbalance of power

A bully always has more power than its target in some way.  The following is a list of some advantages a bully uses:  

 

• Higher on the social ladder  
• Larger size  
• Physically stronger  
• More verbally skilled  
• A different race or sex  
• Older age  
• A large number of kids with similar advantages

 

Intent to harm

 

• Bullying is never done on accident.   “Oops, I didn’t mean it” from a bully is a cover-up.
• A bully always means to hurt their target, emotionally and/or physically.
• They get some kind of enjoyment from watching the target suffer from the pain they inflicted. 

 

Threat of further aggression

 

• Bullying is rarely a one-time event.
• Everyone involved knows good and well that it will happen many times over.
• It will certainly happen many times before anyone intervenes.
• Bullying usually happens when adults are not there to witness, which makes it easy to repeat. 

 

Terror

• When a bully continues on his or her path of destruction for a long period of time, terror builds for the target.  This ensures the bully free reign to do what he or she pleases without fear of being “ratted out.” 
• The emotional and physical reaction of a terrified target is also satisfying to a bully.
• The target becomes so powerless they are not likely to fight back. 
• For as long as the target stays powerless, the bully will “own” them.

 

 

Physical bullying

• This is the most easily seen type of bullying.  It can range from something more hidden, like tripping a child in a busy hallway, to something very obvious like punching or shoving.
• Boys most commonly use this form of bullying.  However, girls can certainly pick on other smaller girls and get into physical fights.
• This is what most people think of when they hear the word “bullying”.

 

Verbal bullying

• It is the most common form of bullying. It is done with words directly to the target’s face. 
• Verbal bullying can be humiliating comments, name calling, insults, teasing, and harassing.  It can also involve intimidating kids out of their lunch money, making verbally abusive phone calls, threatening violence, and making racial slurs.
• It is easy to get away with, and can be whispered near adults without being detected.

 

Social/relational bullying

• This form of bullying uses social shunning and exclusion, and it is most often used by girls. 
• Unfortunately, this kind of bullying can also be hard to detect.  Social bullying is usually indirect, as opposed to how verbal bullying is said directly to the target.  It is done through body language, mean or degrading notes, gossip, and ignoring. 

 

Cyber bullying

• This is a more recently evolved form of bullying thanks to current technologies.  It is the use of text messaging, email, chat- rooms, and other electronic communication methods for bullying. 
• The bully can gain an extra sense of anonymity and distance from the incident. Also, the target may receive the bullying long after the bully has done it.
• This can be a difficult form of bullying to track because it happens in isolation. 

"Socially Acceptable" Bullying

There are forces in our society that make it possible for bullying to thrive.  When someone thinks of a small kid being bullied, they might feel sympathetic.  But if it comes in other forms, a person can easily turn a blind eye.

Not everyone may think of the following examples as bullying.  Keep in mind that bullying is a mismatch of power, with the more powerful person intentionally harming the less powerful person in some way.

Racism

• Kids are taught racism from people in their community.
• Kids learn racism through thought (stereotype); through feeling (prejudice); through action (discrimination).
• Kids willing to discriminate against a group may easily pick out one kid to bully.
• Bullying is covered up or tolerated because of a community that allows racism.

 

Hazing

• Hazing is seen in society as “fun” and a “way to belong.”
• Rites of passage or initiation don’t have to be demeaning to be powerful.
• In one study in 2000, 48% of 1541 high school students in various clubs reported being hazed.
• Bullying is covered up or tolerated because of a community that tolerates and/or encourages hazing.

 

Social “Cliques”

• Social cliques are groups of kids that share interests, but also exclude those who “don’t fit in”.
• Kids who don’t fit in are often shunned and taunted for being “unworthy”.
• School administrators and staff who tolerate strong cliques most likely support the bullies more than the targets.
• Bullying is covered up or tolerated because of a school community that tolerates powerful social cliques.

 

 

The Bullying Incident

The “bullying incident” is more complex than it may appear at first.  Understanding the process is important for making effective interventions.  Let’s take a look at the sequence one stage at a time.  There are 4 stages.

 

Stage One:  Identify

The bully does several things to see if he or she can pull off bullying someone.

• They scan the scene for the ideal location.
• They find a good target.
• They confirm the lack of adult supervision.

 

Stage Two:  Test

Once they find a target, they do two important things.  This will determine whether or not the bullying can continue at that time.

• The bully tests the target for a reaction; the bigger the reaction, the more the bully likes it.
• The bully observes the reactions of the bystanders.

 

Stage Three:  Proceed

This is when the bully has the “green light” and can really show their power.  The bully and bystanders stop seeing the target as a person by now.

• The bully takes major action verbally, physically, socially.
• The bystanders either move away or join in.
• The target blames him or herself for the attack.

 

Stage Four:  Close

Finally, the incident is over.  This ends for one of the following reasons:

• The bully decided it was over.
• The target stood up for him or herself.
• Someone from the outside intervened.

Most likely, it is because the bully decided it was over.  Also, adults most likely don’t know that anything ever happened.

 

 

There are 7 Intervention Basics that will help you make your daycare a “bully free” zone.  It is not enough to do just one or two of them.  The problem of bullying is a system of many parts working together.  A quality prevention/intervention solution must involve all of these parts. 

 

1.  Provide a Safe Social Environment

• Bullying lives on strongly where adults are permissive about children’s behaviors.  Bullying must become “uncool” in the child care environment, and “cool” to help out if someone sees bullying going on. 
• The right tone needs to be set by the adults, but the kids need to be involved in changing attitudes.  

 

2.  Assess bullying in your child care facility.

• As you recall, there is usually a “code of silence” and many myths about bullying.  These factors can make it difficult to really see how widespread bullying may be in a large group of children. 
• Instead of guessing, it can be very useful to do some anonymous surveys of the kids.  This direct information can be very helpful in understanding the real scope of the problem. 

 

3.  Enlist staff and parent support

• To keep bullying under careful watch, a daycare center needs the support of the staff and the parents.  The job cannot be managed by just a single administrator or staff member.

 

4.  Get a coordinating team together.

• A coordinating team can help make plans and provide direction for the staff.  They can help to monitor progress with prevention efforts, and ensure that these continue over time.  This can be made up of representatives from the child care teacher, janitorial staff, the administration, and parents.  

 

5.  Train staff and increase adult supervision in bullying “hot spots”.

• Training can help all adults involved with the child care program.  Everyone can better understand the nature of bullying, how to respond to it, and how to prevent it.
• Increasing adult supervision in bullying “hot spots” can cut back on opportunities for bullies to operate.

 

6.  Establish rules related to bullying and spend “class” time on bullying prevention.

• It is important to let the kids know that you expect kids not to bully.  The kids also need to know you expect them to be good citizens by helping someone who is being bullied.  There are also ways to fit in small amounts of time every week learning about bullying. 

 

7.  Intervene consistently and over time.

• All of the interventions just mentioned will be most effective when done consistently.  Prevention for bullying will best be done through changing the entire environment for good.  Bringing out the bullying materials once in a while will not be enough.  The message about bullying needs to be woven into the child care's activities on a regular basis.