The spotlight effect means seeing ourselves at center stage, thus intuitively

Overestimating the extent to which others attention is aimed at us.

Keenly aware of our own emotions we often suffer an illusion of transparency. If we're happy and

We know it our face will surely show it. And others, we presume, will notice.

We also overestimate the visibility of our social blunders and public mental slips.

The spotlight effect and the related illusion of transparency are but two of many examples of the interplay between

Our sense of self and our social worlds. Here are a few more:

Social surroundings affect our self-awareness.

Self-interest colors our social judgment

Self-concern motivates our social behavior

Social relationships help define our sense of self

Our sense of self organizes our thoughts, feelings, and actions and enables us to remember our past,

Assess our present, and project our future- and thus to behave adaptively.

Our sense of self

The elements of your self -concept, the specific beliefs by which you define yourself, are your self- schemas.

Schemas are mental templates by which we organize our worlds.

Our self-schemas-our perceiving ourselves as athletic, overweight, smart etc. powerfully affect how we

Perceive, remember, and evaluate other people and ourselves.

The self-schemas that make up our self-concepts help us organize and retrieve our experiences.

Social comparisons

Social comparison- Evaluating one's abilities and opinions by comparing oneself with others. Others help define the standard by which we define ourselves as rich or poor, smart or dumb, tall or short. We compare ourselves with them and see how we differ.

Much of life revolves around social comparisons.

Sometimes social comparison is based on incomplete information.

Social comparisons can diminish our satisfaction in other ways. When we experience an increase in affluence, status, or achievement, we "compare upward"- we raise the standards by which we evaluate our attainments.

Other Peoples Judgements

When people think well of us we think well of ourselves.

The looking glass self was how sociologist Charles H. Cooley described our use of how we think others perceive us as a mirror for perceiving ourselves. Fellow sociologist George Herbert Mead refined this concept, noting that what matters for our self-concepts is not how others actually see us but the way we imagine they see us.

We may overestimate others' appraisal, inflating our self-images.

Self and Culture

For some people, especially those in industrialized Western cultures, individualism prevails. Identity is self-contained. Becoming an adult means separating from parents, becoming self-reliant , and identifying one's personal independent self. One's identity-as a unique individual with particular abilities, traits, values, and dreams-remains fairly constant.

Most cultures native to Asia, Africa, and Central and South America place a greater value on collectivism, by respecting and identifying with the group. In these cultures, people are more self-critical and focus less on positive self-views.

The rich are more individualistic than the poor, males more than females, whites more than nonwhites, and San Franciscans more than Bostonites.

Despite individual and subcultural variations, researchers continue to regard individualism and collectivism

as genuine cultural variables.

Cultures change over time and seem to be growing more individualistic. These cultural trends have an effect on individuals, too,: Today's young Americans report significantly more positive self-views than young people did in the 1960s and 1970s

Collectivistic cultures also promote a greater sense of belonging and more integration between self and others.

In collectivist cultures, self-esteem tends to be malleable (context specific) rather than stable (enduring across situations)

For those individualistic cultures, self-esteem is more personal and less relational.

Western individualists like to make comparisons with others that boost their self-esteem. Asian collectivists make comparisons (often upward with those doing better) in ways that facilitate self-improvement.

Table-- Self Concept: Independent or Interdependent

Independent

(Individualistic)

Interdependent

(Collectivist)

Identity is

Personal, defined by individual

traits and goals

Social, defined by connections

with others

What matters

Me-personal achievement and

fulfillment; my rights and liberties

We-group goals and solidarity;

Our social responsibilities and relationships

Disapproves of

Conformity

Egotism

Illustrative Motto

"To thine own self be true"

"No one is an island"

Cultures that support

Individualistic Western

Collectivist Asian and Third World

Predicting Our Behavior

One of the most common errors in behavior prediction is underestimating how long it will take to complete a task (called the planning fallacy.)

Studies of "affective forecasting" reveal that people have greatest difficulty predicting the intensity and the duration of their future emotions.

Study after study reveals our vulnerability to impact bias-overestimating the enduring impact of emotion causing events.

We are especially prone to impact bias after negative events.

People neglect the speed and the power of their coping mechanisms, which include rationalizing, discounting, forgiving, and limiting emotional trauma. Because we are unaware of the speed and strength of our coping, we adapt to disabilities, romantic breakups, exam failures, layoffs, and personal and team defeats more readily than we would expect.

The Wisdom and illusions of Self Analysis

We are unaware of much that goes on in our minds. Perception and memory studies show that we are more aware of the results of our thinking than its process.

Timothy Wilson offers a bold idea: Analyzing why we feel the way we do can actually make our judgements less accurate.

Such findings illustrate that we have a dual attitude system. Our automatic implicit, unconscious attitudes regarding someone or something often differ from our consciously controlled, explicit attitudes. Trusting your gut is an implicit attitude.

Although explicit attitudes may change with relative ease, implicit attitudes, like old habits, change more slowly. With repeated practice, however, new habitual attitudes can replace old ones.

This research on the limits of our self-knowledge has two practical implications. The first is for psychological inquiry. Self-reports are often untrustworthy. Errors in self-understanding limit the scientific usefulness of subjective personal reports.

The second implication is for our everyday lives. Even if people report and interpret their experiences with complete honesty, that does not mean their reports are true. Personal testimonies are powerfully persuasive, but they may also be wrong.

Nature and motivating power of self esteem

Is self-esteem the sum of all our self-views across various domains?

Specific self-perceptions do have some influence, however. If you think you are good at math, you will be more likely to do well at math.

Most people are extremely motivated to maintain their self-esteem.

High self-esteem people usually react to a self-esteem threat by compensating for it (blaming someone else or try harder next time)

Mark Leary believes that self-esteem is similar to a fuel gauge. Relationships enable surviving and thriving, so the self-esteem gauge alerts us to threatened social rejection, motivating us to act with greater sensitivity to others' expectations.

Studies confirm that social rejection lowers self-esteem and makes people more eager for approval.

Jeff Greenburg offers another perspective, called terror management theory, which argues that humans must find ways to manage their overwhelming fear of death.

The tradeoff of Low vs High Self Esteem

People with low self-esteem are more vulnerable to anxiety, loneliness, and eating disorders. When feeling bad or threatened, those low in self-esteem often take a negative view of everything.

People with low self-esteem also experience more problems in life-they make less money, abuse drugs, and are more likely to be depressed.

Several studies took the crucial step of following people as they grew older, called a longitudinal study, finding those who had low self-esteem as teens were more likely to later be depressed, suggesting that low self-esteem causes depression instead of the other way around.

A correlation between two variables is sometimes caused by a third factor. Maybe people with low self-esteem also experienced poverty as children, sexual abuse, or had parents that used drugs.

When good things happen, people with high self-esteem are more likely to savor and sustain the good feelings.

A research on depression and anxiety suggests, self-serving perceptions can be useful. It may be strategic to believe we are smarter, stronger, and more socially successful than we are. Belief in our superiority can also motivate us to achieve-creating a self-fulfilling prophecy- and can sustain our hope through difficult times.

The effects of self-esteem are small, limited, and not at all good. Folks with high self-esteem, he reports are more likely to be obnoxious, to interrupt, and to talk at people rather than with them (in contrast to the shy, modest people with low self esteem).

Self-control is worth 10 times as much as self-esteem.

High self-esteem becomes especially problematic if it crosses over into narcissism or having an inflated sense of self.

Narcissists usually have high self-esteem but they are missing the piece about caring for others.

The link between narcissism and problematic social relationships led Delroy Paulhus and Kevin Williams to include narcissism in "The Dark Triad" of negative traits along with Machiavellianism (manipulativeness) and antisocial psychopathy.

Narcissism is also linked to a lack of empathy- the ability to take someone else's perspective and be concerned about their problems.

Self-Efficacy

Self-Efficacy- A sense that one is competent and effective, distinguished from self-esteem, which is one's sense of self-worth.

Children and adults with strong feelings of self-efficacy are more persistent, less anxious, and less depressed. They also live healthier lives and are more academically successful.

In everyday life, self-efficacy leads us to set challenging goals and to persist.

When problems arise, a strong sense of self efficacy leads people to stay calm and seek solutions rather than ruminate on their inadequacy.

Self-efficacy, like self-esteem grows with hard won achievements.

Self-efficacy and self-esteem sound similar but are different concepts. If you believe you can do something that is self-efficacy. If you like yourself overall, that is self-esteem.

If you want to encourage someone focus on their self-efficacy not their self-esteem.

Self-Serving Bias

One of social psychology's most provocative yet firmly established conclusions is the potency of self-serving bias- a tendency to perceive oneself favorably.

Self-serving attributions-attributing positive outcomes to oneself and negative outcomes to something else is one of the most potent of human biases. That might be for a good reason. Making self-serving attributions activates brain areas associated with reward and pleasure.

Self-serving attributions contribute to marital discord, worker dissatisfaction, and bargaining impasses.

We help maintain our positive self-images by associating ourselves with success and distancing ourselves from failure.

Ironically, we are even biased against seeing our own bias. People claim they avoid self-serving bias themselves but readily acknowledge that others commit this bias. This "bias blind spot" can have serious consequences during conflicts.

Self-serving bias also appears when people compare themselves with others.

On subjective socially desirable, and common dimensions, most people see themselves as better than the average person. Compared with people in general, most people see themselves as more ethical, more competent at their job, friendlier, more intelligent, better looking, less prejudiced, healthier, and even more insightful and less biased in their self-assessments.

The self-serving bias is also common in marriages.

Within commonly considered domains subjective behavioral dimensions (such as "disciplined" )can trigger even greater self-serving bias than observable behavioral dimensions ( such as "punctual")

Unrealistic Optimism

Optimism definitely beats pessimism in promoting self-efficacy, health, and well-being.

As natural optimists, most people believe they will be happier with their lives in the future- a belief that helps create happiness in the present.

Pessimists even die sooner- apparently because they are more likely to suffer unfortunate accidents.

If our optimistic prehistoric ancestors were more likely than their pessimistic neighbors to surmount challenges and survive, then small wonder that we are disposed to optimism.

Yet a dash of realism or what Julie Norem calls defensive pessimism-can sometimes save us from the perils of unrealistic optimism. Defensive pessimism anticipates problems and motivates effective coping.

False Consensus and Uniqueness

We have a curious tendency to enhance our self-images by overestimating how much others think and act as we do.

On matters of opinion we find support for our positions by overestimating how much others agree- a phenomenon called the false consensus effect.

When we behave badly or fail in a task, we reassure ourselves by thinking that such lapses are common. After one person lies to another, the liar begins to perceive the other person as dishonest.

Dawes proposes that this false consensus may occur because we generalize from a limited sample, which prominently includes ourselves. Lacking other information why not "project" ourselves; why not impute our own knowledge to others and use our responses as a clue to their likely responses?

On matters of ability or when we behave well or successfully, however, a false uniqueness effect more often occurs.

We serve our self-image by seeing our own talents and moral behaviors as relatively unusual.

We may see our failings as relatively normal and our virtues as relatively exceptional.

To sum up, self-serving bias appears as self-serving attributions, self-congratulatory comparisons, illusory optimism, and false consensus for one's failings.

Explaining self-serving bias

Perhaps the self-serving bias occurs because of errors in how we process and remember information about ourselves. Comparing ourselves with others requires us to notice, assess, and recall their behavior and ours. This created the multiple opportunities for flaws in our information processing.

Recall that married people gave themselves credit for doing more housework than their spouses did. That might occur because we remember what we've done but not what our partner did.

Are biased perceptions, then, simply, a perceptual error, an emotion free glitch in how we process information? Or are self-serving motives also involved? It's now clear from research that we have multiple motives.

Questing for self-knowledge- we're motivated to assess our competence
Questing for self-confirmation- we're motivated to verify our self-conceptions
Questing for self-affirmation- we're especially motivated to enhance our self-image

Trying to increase self-esteem, then, helps power our self-serving bias.

Self-Serving Bias

Attributing ones success to ability

and effort, failure to luck and things external

I got an A in history because I studied hard

I got the D in sociology because the exams

were unfair.

Comparing oneself favorably to others

I do more for my parents than my sister

does.

Unrealistic Optimism

Even though 50% of marriages fail, I know

mine will be enduring joy.

False consensus and uniqueness

I know most people agree with me that global

warming threatens our future.

Summing Up: What is Self-Serving Bias

Contrary to the presumption that most people suffer from low self-esteem or feelings

of inferiority, researchers consistently find that most people exhibit a self-serving bias

In experiments and everyday life, we often take credit for our successes and blame failures

on the situation.

Most people rate themselves as better than average on subjective, desirable traits and

abilities.

We exhibit unrealistic optimism about our futures.

We overestimate the commonality of our opinions and foibles (false consensus) while

underestimating the commonality of our abilities and virtues (false uniqueness)

Such perceptions arise partly from a motive to maintain and enhance self-esteem-a motive

that protects people from depression and contributes to misjudgment and group

conflict.

Self-serving bias can be adaptive in that it allows us to savor the good things that happen

in our lives. When bad things happen, however, self-serving bias can have the maladaptive effect

of causing us to blame others or feel cheated out of something we "deserved".

Self-Handicapping

Sometimes people sabotage their chances for success by creating impediments that make success less likely.

Far from being deliberately self-destructive, such behaviors typically have a self-protective aim.

Students who self-handicap end up with lower GPAs.

Recall that we eagerly protect out self-images by attributing failures to external factors. Thus, fearing

failure, people may handicap themselves by partying half the night before a big job interview or playing

video games instead of studying before a big exam.

Handicaps protect both self-esteem and public image by allowing us to attribute failures to something

temporary or external, rather than lack of talent or ability.

Steven Berglas and Edward Jones confirmed this analysis of self-handicapping.

Researchers have documented other ways people will self-handicap. Fearing failure people will.

reduce their preparation for important individual athletic events.

give their opponent an advantage

perform poorly at the beginning of a task to not create unreachable expectations.

not try as hard as they could during a tough, ego involving task.

Impression Management

Self-serving bias, false modesty, and self-handicapping reveal the depth of our concern for self-image

To varying degrees, we are continually managing the impressions we create. Whether we wish to impress,

intimidate, or seem helpless, we are social animals playing to an audience.

Self-presentation refers to our wanting to present a desired image both to an external audience (other

people) and to an internal audience (ourselves).

Social interaction is a careful balance of looking good while not looking too good. That seems particularly

true in collectivist cultures, where modesty is a "default strategy" to avoid offending others. When there was no risk of offense, Japanese participants self-enhanced as much as Americans.

In familiar situations, self-presentation happens without conscious effort.

For some people, self-conscious presentation is a way of life. They continually monitor their own behavior and note how others react, then adjust their social performance to gain a desired effect. Those who score high on a scale of self-monitoring act like social chameleons- they adjust their behavior in response to external situations.

Having attuned their behavior to the situation, they are more likely to express attitudes they don't really hold and less likely to express or act on their own attitudes observed, the self they know often differs from the self they show. As social chameleons, those who score high in self-monitoring are also less committed to their relationships and more likely to be dissatisfied in their marriages. On the other hand, high self-monitors may rack up more connections online.

Those low in self-monitoring care less what others think. they are more internally guided and this more likely to talk and act as they feel and believe.

As you might imagine, someone who is extremely low in self-monitoring could come across as an insensitive boor, whereas extremely high self-monitoring could result in dishonest behavior worthy of a con artist. Most of us fall somewhere between those two extremes.

In most social situations, modesty creates a good impression and unsolicited boasting creates a bad one. Hence the false modesty phenomenon: We often display lower self-esteem than we privately feel.

Self-Control

Self-control requires energy- not just mental energy, but physical energy.

Effortful self-control depletes our limited willpower reserves. Self-control therefore operates similarly to muscular strength. Both are weaker after exertion, replenished after rest, and strengthened after exercise.

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