Timothy Keller Chapter 1 "The Secret of Marriage"

The surprising goodness of marriage
1. Cohabitation will probably lead to divorce
2. Married men earn 10-40% more than similar single men
3. over 60% of couples say they are "very happy" in marriage
  1. and two thirds of unhappy marriages will become happy after 5 years
The history of marriage
1. In biblical times it was faithful companionship
  1. The Enlightenment meant that marriage was redefined, so it was for emotional and sexual fulfilment
    1. marriage used to be about 'us', now it's about 'me'
The irony of pessimistic idealism
1. Generally, men look for a combination between soul mate/babe
  1. This leads to deep pessimism and they will never find a partner because no one is perfect
    1. The Me Marriage approach means no one is satisfied because no one is perfect
The great secret
1. The bible says there is no flaw in marriage itself. It is broken because of sin
  1. Husbands should do for their wives what Jesus did for us (vice versa). He gave himself up for us
    1. Paul says: do for your spouse what God did for you and the rest will follow
No false choices
1. How do you make marriage work? You need to know the secret and the Gospel
  1. We are more flawed than we dared believe - only God can help us
    1. The Gospel can fill our hearts with God's love so if our spouse fails we can cope

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