Here is the first part of Zane’s rough draft. Use it to answer
questions 2–5.
(1)Last summer my twin brother Zack and I visited our aunt and uncle in
California. (2)On the first day of our visit, Aunt Wanda went to work. (3)She told
Uncle Hank and us to meet her for lunch before she left, and she seemed excited.
(4)To be honest, Zack and I had been hoping to visit some of the famous movie
studios we had read about before our trip. (5)Okay, so like visiting our aunt for lunch
at her job seemed like a total drag. (6)At 11:30 A.M. sharp, however, the three of us
left the house.
(7)“How can you tell which building is Aunt Wanda’s?” I asked as we passed
block after block of identical warehouses. (8)Uncle Hank agreed that they all looked
alike, but he pulled into a parking lot, and we went into a building. (9)We climbed a
flight of stairs, walked through a heavy metal door, and found Aunt Wanda. (10)As
we were talking, Aunt Wanda introduced Zack and me to her boss, a man she
called Bill.
(11)Bill asked us if we would like a tour before lunch Uncle Hank and Aunt
Wanda both smiled as though a warehouse were something special.
(12)Zack just smiled, so I said, “Sure, that would be great,” though I was still
thinking about the movie studios.
(13)We walked through a long corridor, down a flight of stairs, and came to a
huge garage door, which Bill opened by pushing a button. (14)As the door slid
upward, and our eyes adjusted to the light, I was surprised. (15)Glaring down at us
was a huge Tyrannosaurus rex with its mouth wide open.
(16)“Meet T. J.,” Bill said. (17)“He guards the place. (18)Come on,” he added,
waving his arm at Zack and me, “there’s more.”
How is sentence 3 best revised for clarity?
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