ADR How to Separate the People from the Problem

How do I separate the people from the problem?

EMOTIONS

PERCEPTIONS

COMMUNICATION

Put yourself in their shoes.

Don't assume their intention

Don't blame (even if justified)

Phrase the solution to suite their values and allow them to "save face"

Acknowledge the emotions but don't respond to attacks.

Allow other side to vent or let off steam

Use a symbolic gesture to acknowledge that their feelings are valid (like an apology)

Actively listen to understand the other parties interests and position

Use "I" statements instead of "you" statements

Clarifying questions