12.3 WELCOMING VISITOR

12.3 WELCOMING VISITOR

1. POLITE PHRASES

   • 1. Qualifiers
     • Qualifiers are words used to modify other words and they increase or decrease the quality signified by those words. Here’s a simple example:
       • It is very hot.
       • a little, a bit, a little bit, slight, slightly, small, one or two.
         • We might run slightly over budget
         • We are having one or two problems with the new product.
         • The marketing campaign is a little bit behind schedule.
   • 2. Negative Question Forms
     • Another way we can make our English more diplomatic is by using negative questions when we want to make a suggestion.
       • Shouldn’t we redesign the company logo?
       • Typically, we use shouldn’t, wouldn’t and couldn’t to form this type of question.
         • Couldn’t we hire a new advertising agency?
         • Wouldn’t it be better to hire a new advertising agency?
   • 3. Using the Past Continuous Tense
     • Another way to make a sentence less direct and more diplomatic is to use the past continuous tense:
       • I was hoping that we could sign the contract today.
       • I was thinking we need to hire more employees.
       • I was aiming to finish this project by the end of the month.
   • 4. The Passive Voice
     • Finally, the passive voice is a great way to make your sentences sound more diplomatic:
       • My computer has been broken!
       • It was understood that you were going to sign the deal today.
       • It was agreed that you were going to lower your fees.

2. SMALL TALK

   • The 10 Big Rules of Small Talk
     • 1. Do a Little Homework
       • To keep your conversation timely and lively, Carducci suggests scanning newspaper headlines and movie and book reviews.
     • 2. Greet People Appropriately
       • To kiss or not to kiss? The question is so universal (and, for some, vexing) that Hamlet might have asked it. Generally, a firm handshake is a safe, neutral bet.
     • 3. Remember Names
       • Introductions tend to pass in a blur, with both parties quickly blurting out names and then taking sips of wine. As a result, no one remembers who anyone is. If you forget a name, discreetly ask a third party for help, or listen for it in conversation.
     • 4. Don’t Hold Back
       • Begin the conversation by giving the other person something to work with. But don’t put her to work.
     • 5. Draw the Other Person Out
       • People love to talk about themselves, so be a great listener. The questions don’t have to be that specific
     • 6. When in Doubt, Discuss the Setting
       • It sounds like a cop-out, but it works. Another fail-safe, setting-specific question is “How do you know the host?”
     • 7. Revive a Dying Conversation.
       • Don’t panic when there’s a lull in the conversation. Think of silence as a transition. Sometimes silence is appropriate. You don’t want to seem like a babbling idiot
     • 8. Make Proper Introductions
       • The true hallmark of a skilled and gracious small-talker is the ability to introduce people with ease. In addition to announcing names, offer a piece of information about each person, or a shared interest, thereby facilitating a conversation.
     • 9. Defuse Unpleasant Situations
       • For every group of lovely people you meet at a party, there’s bound to be a lemon.
         • Type 1 is the person who has met you on several occasions but acts as if he’s never seen you before in his life.
         • Type 2 invades your personal space.
         • Type 3 won’t stop talking about himself and hasn’t asked you a single question
     • 10. Make a Clean Getaway
       • “Use the phrase ‘I need,’” . “I need to get some food; I haven’t eaten all day. I need to talk to a client over there.

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