Relationships with Friends

Relationships with Friends

1. Friendship: a voluntary interpersonal relationship characterized by intimacy and liking

   • Friendship is voluntary
   • Friendship is driven by shared interests
   • Friendship is characterized by self-disclosure
   • Friendship is rooted in liking
   • Friendship is volatile

2. Friendship functions

   • Communal friendships
     • Get together as often as possible
     • Provide encouragement and emotional support
   • Agentic friendships
     • Not first priority, no emotional interdependence
     • Used to accomplish goals

3. Friendship throughout life

   • Children depend mostly on parents
   • Adolescents rely on same-sex friendships
   • Friendships provide emotional support into early adulthood
   • Friendships wane in middle adulthood as families form
   • Reliance on friendship increases as children form own families

4. Types of friendship

   • Best friends
     • Same-sex
     • Intimacy, disclosure, commitment
     • No judgment upon disclosure
     • Identity support: behaving in ways that convey understanding, acceptance, and support for a friend's valued social identities
       • Valued social identities: aspects of public self that one deems important in self-definition
   • Cross-category friendships: friendships that cross demographic lines
     • Cross-sex friendships
       • Not motivated by sexual attraction
       • Societal pressures to "take it to the next level"
     • Cross-orientation friendships
     • Intercultural friendships
     • Interethnic friendships

5. Maintaining friendships

   • Following friendship rules
     • Show support
     • Seek support
     • Respect privacy
     • Keep confidences
     • Defend friends
     • Avoid public criticism
     • Make friends happy
     • Manage jealousy
     • Share humor
     • Maintain equity
   • Share activities
   • Self-disclosure

6. Friendship challenges

   • Betrayal
   • Geographic separation
   • Attraction
     • Emergence of romantic relationship
     • Friends with benefits