60. Forming A Habit Takes A Long Time and Requires Small Steps

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Breaking the "21 Days" Myth

Maxwell Maltz in the 1950s was the first one to note how people seem to adjust to changes or new behaviors in "a minimum of 21 days" based on observations of his patients and his own life. Excited by the prospects, self-help professionals ran with it and eventually for got the "minimum" thus creating the myth it only takes 21 days to form a habit.

In 2010, Phillippa Lally studied 96 people over 12 weeks as they worked to form habits of their choosing. She found that it took an average of 66 days to form a habit and that the time can vary considerably depending on the task, person and situation. The actual range of days from her study was between 18-254 days!

Lally also found that missing a day once in a while did not affect the habit forming but missing too many days, especially in a row, did.

What does this mean for us?

Be Patient! Both for yourself and others. Habits will take as long as they need to form and that's OK.

In general, giving someone small, easy tasks and a reason to do them every day will make the process easier for both of you.