Recognize & provide examples of empathetic language

6 Skills that make our caring felt: Empathy

• THE PRACTICE OF PRESENCE = undivided attention, being present, reserving judgement
• ACKNOWLEDGING FEELINGS = use words to reflect back the feelings you think the other person may be having.
• VALIDATING FEELINGS = help the person feel justified, normal, less alone & understood
• FOLLOWING UP ON FEELINGS = instead of recognizing a feeling and moving back to facts immediately, pursue the feeling = the person will feel you're caring more = you will learn valuable information.
• NON VERBAL EMPATHY = 60%+ of communication is non-verbal = match your nonverbal behavior to the other person’s.
• HEART - HEAD - HEART COMMUNICATION = when we speak from the HEART: people feel important, cared for, and understood – They can hear the Head-to-Head part much better = When we speak from the HEAD: – People get valuable information – They appreciate answers and solutions.

Examples of Empathetic language

• Use words to reflect back the feelings you think the other person may be having:• “You sound upset.”
• • “You look frustrated.”
• • “I imagine this must be quite a relief for you.”
• Words to help a person feel justified: "I can imagine how you would feel that way.”
• Words to help a person feel normal: “It’s not surprising. I think most people would feel that way if this happened to them.”
• Words to help a person feel less alone: “You’re not alone in feeling that.”
• Words to help a person feel understood: “I really hear how hard this is for you.”
• Silence - in some circumstances, no words is the place place for empathy.

Language that does not work!

• Presuming
• “I know exactly how you feel.”
• “I completely understand.”
• Shifting the focus to yourself
• “That happened to me too.”
• “I feel the same way.”
• Judging, disapproving, minimizing or discounting
• “You shouldn’t feel that.”
• “I don’t see why you would feel that way!”
• “That seems like an overreaction.”
• “That will pass.”