TDA Religion and Relationships

The age of consent In the UK the age of consent is 16 years old. This is the same for males and females. This is also the same for heterosexual and homosexual relationships. In 2003 the Sexual Offenses Bill made all sexual acts not just intercourse illegal for under 16’s. The law is designed to protect children from exploitation and abuse. Some people argue that this criminalises young people who have under-age sex with others their own age.
Sex before marriage
1. Christianity: Sex expresses a deep, loving and lifelong union that requires the commitment of marriage Important to be sexually pure (chaste) before marriage. Should not use people as sex objects It is irresponsible to spread sexually transmitted infections or risk pregnancy
2. Islam: Sex is a sacred gift from Allah and is an act of worship that contributes to Allah’s creation. Should be enjoyed within marriage and not before. Should not lead others into sexual temptation and should therefore dress modestly. Sex before marriage is forbidden in the Qur’an and can be punishable by flogging in some countries.
Sex outside Marriage
1. Christian views: Adultery destroys trust and breaks the vows made before God It threatens the stability of a family It goes directly against one of the 10 Commandments Jesus taught that lust- that can lead to adultery- is wrong Marriage should be an unbreakable bond demand = total faithfulness
2. Muslim views Adultery is a serious sin in Islam Muslims are urged to avoid anything that could lead to improper sexual behaviour The Qur’an warns to have nothing to do with adultery as it is shameful and opens the way top other evils. The Qur’an states that men and women guilty of adultery shall be punished with 100 flogs.
Marriage
1. Islam: Before the marriage there is a lot of preparation. The family may be involved in choosing the marriage partner. If the couple decide to get married then the mahr (agreed sum of money that is paid t the wife) is arranged. The money belongs to the wife, and is hers to keep should the couple divorce. The ceremony is called the Nikah (contract) and my take place at home or in the mosque. The bride does not have to be present, but must send witnesses in her place. The ceremony includes the reading of ayahs (units of surahs from the Qur’an), an agreement to the mahr in front of witnesses, exchanging of vows and signing of the contract. It is hoped that Allah will bless the marriage but He is not directly involved, the marriage ceremony is simply a contract. In some cases a man may also be permitted to have more than one wife (polygamy) .
2. “But at the beginning of creation God 'made them male and female'. 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.' So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate. “ (Mark 10:6-9)
  1. A Christian wedding ceremony A Christian wedding service takes place in a church and the couple invite friends and family to witness the promises (vows) being made. Couple vow to: Stay together until death. Be faithful to each other. To remain married whether times are good or bad, happy or sad.
    1. Roman Catholic and Anglican Christians often have Holy Communion as part of the service. Brides wear white to symbolise purity. “With my body I honour you, All that I am I give to you, And all that I have I share with you.”
Alternatives to marriage
1. Living together (co-habitation) Some couples live together to see if their relationship will work. Many decide to marry if they are starting a family. This may be for stability and practicalities such as surnames and legal responsibilities. Civil Partnerships (gay marriage) Civil partnerships are an alternative to marriage for homosexual couples. This gives the same legal rights as marriage does. Celibacy Some people choose to remain unmarried and not have sexual relationships. This may be for personal reasons and for some religious believers is a way to show devotion to God. Vocation to religious life Some people believe they are called to dedicate their whole life to their religion and therefore become celibate. This would include Roman Catholic priests, monks and nuns. They do not marry so they can focus their energies on their religious responsibilities
Choosing a marriage partner
1. Love --The romantic idea of falling in love, getting married and living happily ever after! However divorce rates suggest this form of selecting a marriage partner alone is the kind of marriage with the highest level of divorce rate. Religions believe that love is essential for marriage however other factors such as shared values and beliefs are also important. In the Islamic faith most marriages are arranged on this basis and believe love develops after people marry, not necessarily before.
2. Parents Most children hope their parents will approve of their marriage partner and parents hope that their children will choose someone who will love, support and care for them. Religious parents would usually want their children to choose someone of the same religion or at the very least someone who will respect their beliefs. Some religious parents (usually Muslim parents but not always) arrange their children’s marriage. They look for someone from a family they know and respect, someone with a good background and education, someone who is healthy and is of the same religion. Marriage is seen as uniting two families not just two individuals
3. Religion influencing the choice of marriage partner- Religious people prefer people to marry within the religion, because a person’s religion affects their whole lifestyle and moral choices. Roman Catholics (a Christian denomination) say believers should marry within the religion and if not the non-Catholic partner must allow the children to be brought up as Catholics. Most religious people would want to marry someone of the same religion because they will share the same beliefs and values, especially when it comes to bringing up children.
Divorce
1. Roman Catholic Christians… Divorce is always wrong. Marriage is a sacrament that cannot be broken. Promises have been made to each other, in front of God and these cannot be broken. ‘until death do us part.’ If a divorce does take place it is not recognised by the Catholic Church and people cannot remarry whilst their partner is still alive. God will give you the strength to make the relationship work. • The church will provide counselling and practical help. The Church of England / Protestant Christians •Divorce should be the last resort. •Divorce is seen as a ‘necessary evil’. •Couples should have attempted to make the marriage work. •There must be a good reason such as violent behaviour or adultery. Overall Christianity teaches… •God hates divorce – Old Testament •Whoever divorces…then marries another; it is as if he committed adultery – Jesus. •Forgiveness and love – Jesus.
2. For Muslims, divorce is ‘hateful to Allah’ (Hadith) but is permitted as a last resort. The couple must wait three months to see if the wife is pregnant and to allow reconciliation if possible (Qur’an 4:35). A husband must return any dowry and support his wife until she remarries. A wife can divorce her husband, but he does not have to support her is he is not at fault, and she must repay the marriage gift. He must still support his children in all cases.
Family
1. The Christian family Christians believe that one of the main aims of marriage is to have children and bring them up in a stable and loving environment. As they grow up they will learn social and Christian values which will help them through life. Christians believe that it is important for all members of the family to support each other. Parents should raise their children with loving discipline based on Christian principles. Children should respect their parents and look after them in old age. The Christian family should be a unit of mutual love and support. Many Christians believe that it is the loss of theses Christian family values which have led to many of the problems in today’s society. One of the 10 Commandments is “Honour your father and your mother”.
2. The extended family is the basis of Islamic society and is part of Allah’s plan. Allah created mates with the intention for these to produce children and have a family. The family is important in shaping the values and character of children, which in turn makes a vital contribution to society. The peace and security that the family unit can offer is greatly valued. They are seen to be important for social order. Children are an important part of the family; they are treasured and rarely leave home until the time they marry. Brothers and sisters are expected to be kind towards each other and also have a duty to help their mother (particularly when she becomes unable to support her children alone). In addition to promoting important values the family also has a purpose in sharing religious knowledge. Parents are expected to teach their children to pray and to worship Allah.
  1. Parents are also greatly respected in the Islamic tradition, particularly mothers. Mothers are particularly honoured as the Qur’an teaches that since they suffer during pregnancy and childbirth they deserve special consideration and kindness, “and we have enjoined upon man (to be good) to his parents. With difficulty upon difficulty did his mother bear him and wean him for two years, show gratitude to Me and to your parents, to me is your final goal” (Qur’an 31:14). Muslims are also expected to care for elderly parents as they cared for their own children.
Contraception
1. Some Muslims oppose contraception as they believe Allah will give couples the strength to deal with any number of children. In Islam, contraception is acceptable if both partners agree (but it should not be used to prevent having children altogether). Contraception may be used by Muslim couples to prevent passing on genetic disorders. Muslims oppose methods of contraception that cause abortions and will only accept sterilisation if the mother’s life is at risk. In Islam, children are a gift from God but contraception may be accepted for good reasons.
2. Many Christians believe that there are some situations when it may be preferable to avoid bringing children into the world. The Catholic Church teaches that artificial methods of contraception go against natural law (sex is intended to produce children). In 1994 the Roman Catholic Church wrote that any artificial methods of contraception were evil. The Anglican Church accepts that procreation doesn’t have to be part of every act of sex. Anglicans accept the use of artificial contraception, as long as a couple intend to have children in the future. Catholics are encouraged to use the natural method of contraception when deciding on the number of children to have. ‘Every sexual act should have the possibility of creating new life’ (Humanae Vitae – Roman Catholic).
  1. Condoms 4 life Condoms4life is a campaign organised by Catholics for Choice working to raise awareness and educate people about the problems caused by the Bishop’s ban on condoms. The campaign was launched in 2001 as part of world AIDS day. Their main aim is to challenge the ban on condoms and improve access to them in areas of the world that are most at risk from AIDS. The campaign urges Catholics, particularly young ones, to use condoms as part of mature and responsible sex. The organisation reminds Catholics that sex is a gift from God. They claim that Catholics should therefore be allowed to have sexual relationships without fear of damaging their health. They recognise that attitudes towards ex are changing and that people should have the information and resources to act in a responsible way when choosing to have sex. People must be able to protect themselves. Using a condom can be morally good to prevent illness and passing on of diseases.
Homosexuality
1. Homosexuality is seen as wrong as there is no possibility of life arising from such unions. Christians have traditionally understood relationships in heterosexual terms. St. Paul suggested that homosexual relationships are unnatural. “Do not lie with another man as one lies with a woman: that is detestable” (Leviticus 18:22). The Roman Catholic Church maintains that homosexual acts are wrong (there is no sin involved in inclination). Some Anglican Churches bless same-sex couples. Homosexual individuals may also be accepted in the Anglican clergy if they remain celibate. The Quakers have welcomed same-sex unions for almost two decades.
2. Men and women are intended for each other. Sexuality is a tool for creating man-woman relationships. Sex is preserved for a man and woman within a marriage. Illicit sexual relations carry severe punishments (in some Muslim countries/states homosexuality is illegal and punishable by death e.g. Iran). “If two men among you are guilty of lewdness, punish them both. If they repent and amend, leave them alone.” (Qur’an 4:16).
Forced marriage
1. Forced marriage is CULTURAL and not RELIGIOUS.
  1. The bride, groom or both do not want to get married but are forced to by others. There is no freedom of choice. Those involved may have been emotionally blackmailed, physically threatened or abused. Young people may be taken on visits abroad, unaware that they will be getting married until they arrive abroad. It is against the law in the UK and anyone convicted can be sentenced to time in prison. The bride, groom or both do not want to get married but are forced to by others.

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