and all this lead to her desire to not be abandoned anymore, by raising significance and making herself important to her family.
"I was a good mother to you!" "I was a good wife!" (Pg 45)
"Why did you both hate me then? I didn't do anything wrong!"
She believed that love could be earned, that if she does thing for others, she deserves their love.
but love isn't equal exchange, you don't love out of duty.
previously, this was how she knew to love, the only way she could love
SYMBOL: PATCHWORK QUILT
"wrap them, bind them in the web of your providing, till they can't lift a finger to help themselves." (Pg 45)
"so that husband and son and sister-in-law must all depend on you, so that you control them and keep them in the palm of your hand." (Pg 45)
"So that the whole world knows your worth." (Pg 45)
The world must know that she is significant, and she must know that she is significant as well. that her life was worth something.
"So that a screaming girl child ... gutter." (Pg 45)
Her love was based on survival, so no one would throw her back into a gutter, so that she will not be unwanted trash.
her providence, though to some extent was for her love for the people around her, consistently involved her in the equation, and was centred around her. It was selfish.
IRONY:
Emerald hill is hardly the gutter but she is still alone all the same.
She is still unwanted
you would think that by her being in Emerald hill she will not be alone, she will not be trash
Her actions to bring people closer actually pushed them away
EVENT: RICHARD AND RIDING SCHOOL
Richard was the eldest son of the eldest son
Her plans didn't include him working at the riding school
Wanted him to be a lawyer (pg 26)
Went to England, forced him to quit (pg 25)
Killed himself with riding reins (Pg 27)
Death set him free from Emily
Riding set him free from Emily (if he couldn't use the reins in his life, he'll use them to set him free)
Riding was also the only major life decision he made on his own without Emily's influence (Pg 23)
EVENT: KHEONG AND DIANA
She consistently made herself important to Kheong
Made plans for remodelling the house (Pg 16)
Made plans for shares (Pg 16)
Their marriage was decided upon, and hence lacked romantic love.
Kheong seeked Diana for love
"I'm sure he's dying to see you." (Pg 20)
"For more than a year now, he's been seeing that whore, Diana Lee, on and off." (Pg 40)
Kheong didn't love Emily
Could have appreciated her work for the household
Refused to see her on his deathbed. (Pg 43)
Her way of showing her dedication to Kheong wasn't what love is.
By trying to provide for him, she consistently reminded him that she was the one doing things (build significance)
Her actions still revolved around herself and failed to bring Kheong closer to her, because she never did anything PURELY FOR HIM (she was always in that equation)
"each one of them sleeps all wrapped up in my patchwork quilt" (Pg 15)
her patchwork quilt is made of parts from different people/memories
Everyone is connected by HER stitches and wrapped in HER care
sent to be married, by the auntie she was living with
Present (after Kheong and Richard happened and she realised she was pushing people away)
1. Started to compromise, because love is not about telling people what to do/what is best for them, but to listen to them)
COMPARE: RICHARD AND RIDING SCHOOL
Doris wanted to marry an American (Pg 47)
started to cry because didn't think her mother would allow (Pg 47)
"Wait a minute, Doris. Let me think about it." (Pg 47)
The possibility of compromise, which is not something Doris thought could happen
Compromised (Pg 48)
Accepted Doris's views/decisions (Pg 48)
SYMBOL: PHONE CALL vs letter to Richard
Phone call is more personal, it is more of an exchange between two people SHARING THE SAME PLANE OF TIME
Gives people a chance to react, instead of just passively feeding someone with words and ideas through a letter
You receive a letter, but you share a conversation
shows how Emily has moved into letting her children have a chance to communicate
2. Helping people while removing herself from the equation
COMPARE: KHEONG
Bee Choo was worried because she needed a place to stay (Pg 49)
Emily manipulated the situation so that it seems that Bee Choo is helping her. (Pg 49
Emily removed herself as the provider, and helped people without others knowing so
Giving without receiving, because how do you receive when others don't know you've helped them
HER IDEA OF LOVE HAS CHANGED
TRUE SERVING AND LOVE IS REMOVING HERSELF FROM THE EQUATION
no more helping others to raise own significance. love is doing something without others without getting something in return (Pg 45) + without it being your duty (Kheong)
SYMBOL: PINK COAT
Has it whenever she talks about her youth (refer to white seals)
represents her past self, her innocence
Pg 45, she wrings it in her hands
anger and frustration at how her past has shaped her
how her past has affected her present
Kheong and Richard
Pg 46, puts it away like putting a hurt child to rest
she is that hurt child
all her perceived notions of love were wrong, recognises the irony in pushing people away
feels great pain at her loss, the loss of the people around her
feels great sorrow at how her actions resulted in her nightmares coming true
something like - I worked so hard, and yet it still turned out this way, why?
SYMBOL: SONGS
Kentucky Home (Pg 11 and 54)
begins and ends the play
"Weep no more" (Pg 54)
Home: where all mistakes can be made and it'll be okay
Reassuring, very comforting lyrics
Home is also a place to let go of the need to /be/ someone
her idea of home has since changed from Pg 10
Piccaninny (Pg 13 and 46)
Pg 13 - Richard
a scene of motherly love
Pg 46 - Bin Seong (Charles' son, her grandson)
she turns away from Binbin in the end, as if
she is reminded of Richard, and the memory brings her pain
Pg 46 also has the stage direction which shows how "she is more relaxed and kindly than with her own children"