Timothy Keller Chapter 1 "The Secret of Marriage"

Timothy Keller Chapter 1 "The Secret of Marriage"

1. The surprising goodness of marriage

   • Cohabitation will probably lead to divorce
   • Married men earn 10-40% more than similar single men
   • over 60% of couples say they are "very happy" in marriage
     • and two thirds of unhappy marriages will become happy after 5 years

2. The history of marriage

   • In biblical times it was faithful companionship
     • The Enlightenment meant that marriage was redefined, so it was for emotional and sexual fulfilment
       • marriage used to be about 'us', now it's about 'me'

3. The irony of pessimistic idealism

   • Generally, men look for a combination between soul mate/babe
     • This leads to deep pessimism and they will never find a partner because no one is perfect
       • The Me Marriage approach means no one is satisfied because no one is perfect

4. The great secret

   • The bible says there is no flaw in marriage itself. It is broken because of sin
     • Husbands should do for their wives what Jesus did for us (vice versa). He gave himself up for us
       • Paul says: do for your spouse what God did for you and the rest will follow

5. No false choices

   • How do you make marriage work? You need to know the secret and the Gospel
     • We are more flawed than we dared believe - only God can help us
       • The Gospel can fill our hearts with God's love so if our spouse fails we can cope