D1.E

THE PRACTICE OF PRESENCE = undivided attention, being present, reserving judgement ACKNOWLEDGING FEELINGS = use words to reflect back the feelings you think the other person may be having. VALIDATING FEELINGS = help the person feel justified, normal, less alone & understood FOLLOWING UP ON FEELINGS = instead of recognizing a feeling and moving back to facts immediately, pursue the feeling = the person will feel you're caring more = you will learn valuable information. NON VERBAL EMPATHY = 60%+ of communication is non-verbal = match your nonverbal behavior to the other person’s. HEART - HEAD - HEART COMMUNICATION = when we speak from the HEART: people feel important, cared for, and understood – They can hear the Head-to-Head part much better = When we speak from the HEAD: – People get valuable information – They appreciate answers and solutions.        

6 Skills that make our caring felt: Empathy

Examples of Empathetic language

Use words to reflect back the feelings you think the other person may be having:• “You sound upset.” • “You look frustrated.” • “I imagine this must be quite a relief for you.” Words to help a person feel justified: "I can imagine how you would feel that way.” Words to help a person feel normal: “It’s not surprising. I think most people would feel that way if this happened to them.” Words to help a person feel less alone: “You’re not alone in feeling that.” Words to help a person feel understood: “I really hear how hard this is for you.” Silence - in some circumstances, no words is the place place for empathy.

Language that does not work!

Presuming “I know exactly how you feel.”  “I completely understand.” Shifting the focus to yourself “That happened to me too.” “I feel the same way.” Judging, disapproving, minimizing or discounting “You shouldn’t feel that.” “I don’t see why you would feel that way!” “That seems like an overreaction.”  “That will pass.”