RESISTANCES

RESISTANCES

1. ANYTHING that gets in the way of the coaching relationship

2. Client can bring resistance with him/her

3. Client can have resistance activated during coaching

4. Resistance can be present at any stage of the relationship

5. Most clients are ambivalent when they first meet coach

   • Anxieties about changing
   • Anxieties about the coaching process
     • e.g. talking openly about themselves
     • personal pain
     • be there reluctantly (sent by employer, etc.)
       • resistance to work and commitment required for change
     • embarrasment

6. CLIENT'S BELIEFS

   • 'shouldn't need help'
   • 'people should know themselves'
   • 'I'm sick or inadequate if I need coaching'
   • 'I'm a failure by being here'

7. POOR COACHING SKILLS

   • unrewarded listening
   • Coach's own resistances
     • prejudices
     • fatigue
     • burnout
     • stress
   • lack of empathy

8. SHOWN BY...

   • the way a client communicates
     • SILENCE the most common
     • continual laughing
     • constant talking
     • intellectualising / distancing
     • emotional scenes
     • denial
       • "everything is wonderful"
       • "I have everything under control"
     • breaking / changing appointments
     • behaving seductively
     • angry outbursts
     • cynicism

9. DEALING WITH ...

   • Use active listening skills
     • builds trust & rapport
     • core conditions
   • Join with clients
   • Give permission to discuss fears and reluctance
   • Initial invitation to co-operate
   • help clients see reasons for co-operation
   • offer rewards
     • to silent clients for talking
   • AVOID LISTENING BLOCKS
     • Directing / control
     • judging
     • preaching / patronising
     • lebeling /diagnosing
     • humoring
     • not accepting client's feelings
     • advising /teaching
     • interrogating
     • over-interpreting
     • self-disclosing
     • expert facade
     • faking attention
     • placing time pressures