Non-Violent Comunications (NVC)

Non-Violent Comunications (NVC)

1. method ofinteraction that fosters compassion and understanding among participants

2. It operates on the premise that human beings are inherently good and all possess the same universal needs

3. Marshall Rosenberg,

   • conflict between individuals is always the result of unmet needs
     • these needs may reflect the requirement
       • for physical well-being
       • interpersonal connection
       • personal autonomy, among others
     • When both parties acknowledge and empathize with each other's basic needs, disagreements can be dealt with in an effective manner.
   • creator of the technique (NVC)
   • commissioned as a peace-keeping negotiator among nations and a conflict resolution specialist in business
   • claims that we have been raised on a language of violence that encourages people to label, criticize, and judge others in an effort to place the blame for internally felt negativity on external circumstances.
     • This outdated use of language is a historical remnant of hierarchical control-based societies where the ruling class positioned themselves as the dispensers of moral education and external justice
       • Accordingly, individuals have come to feel it is their right to label and judge others instead of reflecting upon internal mechanisms that are causing them distress.
   • what generally contributes to negative emotions such as anger is not another's behavior but rather an unmet personal need
     • In the case ofthe unpunctual friend, it ts not the person's actions that cause anger but rather an unmet need for the proper consideration ofone's time
       • An NVC response incorporating both of these elements might therefore be "I'm feeling angry because I need you to acknowledge that my time is just as valuable as yours."
         • This kind ofcompassionate interaction keeps the channels of communication open and sets the stage for the resolution ofconflict
           • Once feelings and needs have been clarified, a clearly stated request can be made to resolve the problem. For instance, one might say, "I am asking that you make an effort to anive on time or call to let me know you will be late."
             • Requests are differentiated from demands in that the receiver ofthe message has the right of refusal.
               • Individuals should be accorded the freedom to act autonomously, and no one has the right to coerce another into doing something against his or her will.
                 • THE END

4. is a four-part conflict-management strategy that attempts to bring the focus back to these internal mechanisms by specifying non-judgmental observations

   • ofthe problematic behavior,
   • owned feelings
   • basic needs
   • reasonable requests
   • First, is necessary to objectively observe and identify the behaviors that are bothersome
     • To be effective and to cause the least amount ofdefensiveness in the other party
     • these behaviors need to be stated in a factual and unbiased manner, with absolutely no form of evaluation.
   • Second, feelings elicited by the troublesome behavior are expressed

5. necessitates the ownership ofone's feelings