Getting to yes

Getting to yes

1. Don´t bargain over postion

   • Position bargaining
     • shop keeper vs coustumer
       • Look for 3 thing: Wise agreement, improve relation and efficent agreement
         • Position bargaining fails to the these 3
           • Positon bargainers they lock themselves (Ego)
             • Examples
               • USA vs Soviet Union
                 • Oil company vs Farmers in Iran
                   • You have to look por a solution carefully cradted to meet the interest of both partys
                     • good agreement its possible
                       • positional bargainig affect relations
                         • with many partys positional bargainig its worst
                           • Being a NICE negotiator is no answer
                             • SOFT
                               • Friends
                                 • look for an agreement
                                   • Trust
                                     • yield with pressure
                                       • soft on the people and the problem
                                         • make concessions
                             • HARD
                               • Adversaris
                                 • Loof for your Victory
                                   • Distrust
                                     • apply pressure
                                       • hard on people and the problem
                                         • Demand Concessions

2. Separate the people from the problem

   • Focus on the people not the problem
     • Negotiators are human being
       • Emotions affect their perception
         • Smoother/Sensitive
         • Angry/Frustrated
         • Am I paying enough attention to the people problem?
           • Negotiator Looks for 2 things
             • benefits
             • Mantain Relation
             • Understan people don´t change them
               • 3 problems every person has negotiating
                 • Perception
                   • Understand their thinking
                     • Difference between
                       • How he sees
                       • How you see it
                     • Empathy
                       • Their point of view
                       • How hard they believe in it
                       • Don´t mix your fears with their intentions
                         • Send a different message than they expect
                           • Make sure they participate
                 • Emotions
                   • What is produciong this emotions?
                     • Desire to make your own opinion
                       • Desire to be recognized
                         • Affiliation
                           • Role
                             • Status
                               • NEGATIVE EMOTIONS
                                 • Take note of them
                                   • Don´t react
                 • Communication
                   • Not easy to undestand each other
                     • Misunderstanding
                       • Other side most of the time will hear something different
                         • People don´t pay attention
                           • Lincoln: "2/3 of my brain think about what they´re going to say..."
                             • Listen actively and acknowledge
                               • ask: Did I undestand correctly?
                                 • Let them know they have been heard
                                   • Understanding isn´t agreeing
                                     • Know where you´re going
           • Don´t:
             • Take it pesonally
             • Be angry with the person related to the problem

3. Focus on interest no positions

   • Position are meant to achieve interest
     • Not the Same
       • Figure out theirs
         • Find ways to satisfy both
           • Ask: WHY?
             • Important Facts
               • What they will think about your position
                 • Whether it will set a precedent
                   • Short/Long term
                     • Meet their basic Need/ Monroe´s Pyramid
                       • Multiple Interests
                         • All sides are aware
                           • Commit yourself to their interest and don´t sacrifice yours

4. Invent options for mutual gain

   • One must win and the other lose
     • 4 obstacles
       • 1. Premature Judgment
         • 2. Assumption that there only one solution
           • 3. There is no way for mutual benefit
             • 4. The other side is responsable for your problems
               • Creative Solutions
                 • Brainstorm
                   • NO criticism - Rule
                     • Identify the best options
                       • Use the circle chart
                         • Look for common groubd abd common interest

5. Insist on Using an objective criteria

   • Reach agreement based on principles
     • Agree on the before hand
       • Don´t give into the pressure ot threats
         • Insist of being Fair
           • Ask
             • What are their principles
             • Why did they get to that conclussion?
             • Fair standars
               • Socially accepted
               • Scientific prove
               • Take turns talking