Listening in Interpersonal Communication

Listening in Interpersonal Communication

1. The process of listening

   • 5 Step Process:
     • Stage 5: Responding
       • 2 phases:
         • Immediate feedback
         • Delayed feedback
       • Constructive listening responding patterns:
         • Support the speaker
         • Own your responses
         • Resist responding to feelings with solving the person's problems
         • Avoid being a thought-completing listener
     • Stage 4: Evaluating
       • Resist evaluation until you fully understand the speaker's POV
       • Distinguish facts from opinions & personal interpretations by the speaker
       • Identify any biases/self-interests/prejudice that lead the speaker to slant unfairly
       • Recognise fallacious forms of "reasoning"
         • Name-calling
         • Testimonial
         • Bandwagon
     • Stage 3: Remembering
       • To faciliate passage of info from short- to long-term memory:
         • Focus attention on central ideas
         • Organise what you hear
         • Repeat names and key concepts to yourself
         • Unite the new with the old
     • Stage 2: Understanding
       • Can improve by:
         • See the speaker's message from the Speaker's POV
         • Avoid assuming you understand
         • Paraphrase
         • Ask qns for clarification
     • Stage 1: Receiving
       • To improve listening skills:
         • Focus attention
         • Avoid distractions
         • Maintain your role as listener and avoid interrupting
       • As a speaker, using disclaimers:
         • Hedging
         • Credentialing
         • Sin Licenses
         • Cognitive disclaimers
         • Appeals for the suspension of judgment

2. Listening Barriers

   • Distractions
     • Physical
     • Mental
   • Biases & Prejudices
     • Closed-mindedness
   • Lack of appropriate focus
   • Premature Judgement

3. Styles of Effective Listening

   • 5 dimensions:
     • Empathetic & Objective Listening
       • Punctuate the message from the speaker's POV
       • Engage in equal, 2-way conversation
       • Seek to understand both thoughts and feelings
       • Avoid "offensive listening"
       • Strive to be objective in friends and foes alike
     • Nonjudgmental & Critical Listening
       • Keep an open mind & avoid prejudging
       • Recognise your own bias
       • Recognise the fallacies of languate
         • Weasel words
         • Euphemisms
         • Jargon
         • Gobbledygook
       • Avoid sharpening
     • Active & Inactive Listening
       • Functions of Active Listening
         • Helps you as a listener to check your understanding
         • Lets the speaker know that you accept & acknowledge their feelings
         • Stimulates speaker to explore feelings & thoughts
       • Techniques of Active Listening
         • Paraphrase speaker's meaning
         • Express understanding of speaker's feelings
         • Ask questions
     • Surface & Depth Listening
       • Focus on both verbal and nonverbal msges
       • Listen for both content & relational msges
       • Make special note of self-reflexive statements
       • Don't disregard the literal meaning
     • Polite & Impolite Listening
       • Avoid interrupting
       • Give supportive listening cues
       • Show empathy
       • Maintain eye contact
       • Give positive feedback

4. Culture, Gender & Listening

   • Culture & Listening
     • Language & Speech
     • Nonverbal behaviours
     • Feedback
   • Gender & Listening
     • Rapport & Report Talk
     • Listening Cues
     • Amt & Purpose of Listening

5. Importance of Listening

   • Purposes
     • To relate
     • To learn
     • To play
     • To help
     • To influence
   • Benefits
     • Professional
     • Personal