UNDERSTANDING INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

UNDERSTANDING INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

1. WHY WE FORM RELATIONSHIPS

   • Appearance: Pp judge others by their appearance in the early stage of a relationship.
   • Similarity: We are likely to like the people who are similar to us. Ex: The more similar a married couple's personalities are, the more likely they are to report to being happy and satisfied.
   • Complementarity: Differences strenthen a relationship when they are complementary.
   • Reciprocal Attraction: We are attracted to people who like us.
   • Competence: We like to be around talented people.
   • Disclosure: Revealing important information about yourself can help build liking.
   • Proximity: Proximity leads to liking. Ex: Im closer to the neighbor right next to my house than the one that is a block away.
   • Rewards: Social Exchange Theory: we often seek out people who can give us rewards that are greater than or equal to the costs we encounter in dealing with them.

2. CHARACTERISTICS OF INTERPERSONAL COMM

   • What makes communication interpersonal? All dyadic interaction=contextually interpersonal comm. Qualitatively interpersonal communication occurs when pp treat one another as unique individuals, regardless of the context in which the interaction occurs or the number of people involved.
   • Interpersonal Comm in Mediated Relationships: Mediated Comm can enhance, not diminish, the quantity and quality of interpersonal comm.
   • Content and Relational Messages. Content messages focus on the subject being discussed. Relational messages make statements about how the parties feel towards one another, express comm feelings and attitudes.
     • Affinity: the degree to which pp like or appreciate one another.
     • Respect: degree to which we admire others and held them in esteem.
     • Immediacy: degree of interest and attraction we feel towards and communicate to others.
     • Control: the amount of influence communicators seek.
   • Metacommunication: decribe messages that refer to other messages. Metacommunication is comm about comm. Its an import method of solving conflicts in a constructive manner. Its also a way to reinforce the good aspects of a relationship.

3. COMM OVER THE RELATIONAL LIFE SPAN

   • A developmental perspective
     • Initiating: involves the intitial making of contact with another person, hard for shy pp, Internet can be helpful.
     • Experimenting: conversation develops as pp get acquainted by making small talk
     • Intensifying: the expression of feelings towards the other becomes more common.
     • Intergrating: The parties begin to take on an identity as a social unit.
     • Bonding: The parties make symbolic public gestures to show the word that their relationship exists.
     • Differentiating: Two pp have formed this commonality. They need to reestablish individual identities.
     • Circumscribing: Comm btw members decreases in quantity or quality.
     • Stagnating: If circumscribing continues, the relationship begins to stagnate.
     • Avoiding: When stagnation becomes unpleasant, relationship begins to distant btw each other.
     • Terminating: Summary dialogues about where the relationship has gone and the desire to dissociate.
   • A Dialectial Perspective: Dialectial model suggests that struggling to achieve these goals create dialectial tensions: conflicts that arise when 2 opposing or incompatible forces exist simultaneously.
     • Connection vs Autonomy
     • Predictability vs. Novelty
     • Openess vs Privacy
     • Strategies for Managing Dialectial Tensions: Denial, Disorientation, Selection of Alternation Segmentation, Moderation, Reframing, Reaffirmation.

4. INTIMACY IN INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIP

   • DImensions of Intimacy: Intimacy is close union, contact, association, or acquaintance. 4 qualities: Physical Intimacy, Intellectual exchanges, Emotional Disclosure, Shared activities.
   • Male & Female Intimacy Syles: Women are more willing than men to share their thoughts and feelings
   • Culture Influences on Intimacy: Big differences between Astan and European cultures: sharing emotions, expressing affection in public, Engaging in sexual activity, Respecting Privacy.

5. SELF-DISCLOSURE IN INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS. Self-disclosure is the process of deliberately revealing information about oneself that is significant and that would not normally be known by others.

   • Reasons for Self Disclosure: Catharis, Self-clarification, Self-validation, Reprocity, Impression management, RElationship maintainenceand enhancement, Control
   • Model of Self-Disclosure:
     • Breath and Depth: Social Penetration.
     • Self-Disclosure, Self-Awareness, and Relational Quality.
   • Characteristics of Self-Disclosure: Self-disclosure is influences by culture, Self-Disclosure usually occurs in Dyads, Effective Self-Disclosure is usually symetrical, Effective Self-Disclosure occurs incrementally, Self-Disclosure is Relatively Scarce.
   • Guidelines for Appropriate Self-Disclosure: Is the other person imprtant to you? Is the risk of Disclosing reasonable? Are the amount and type of Disclosure appropriate? Is the Disclosure relevant to the situation at hand? Is the Disclosure Reciprocated? Will the effect be constructive? Is the Self-Disclosure clear and understandable?
   • Alternatives to Self-Disclosure
     • Lies: Reasons for lying: Acquire resources, Protect resources, Initiate and continue interaction, Avoid conflicts, Avoid interaction or take leave, Present a competent image interaction, Increase social desirability.
     • Equivocation.
     • hinting: Direct statement, Face-saving hint