REMEMBER Don't repeat yourself incessantly because it's BORING and it's not going to get you any marks Also - Uncle Peter - he's a broken man who has lost his mind (nearly) because of the war. Thus it would not work if you make up a 'fantasy' for him because he has already confronted reality. It's because he's in his reality that he can no longer deal with it and commits suicide Mr. Hayward - you can talk about his impact on Keith's life and how Keith's memories are shaped by his abuse, but do not build an entire idea on what shaped Mr. Hayward as a boy because there's too much supposition. In general, avoid things such as these, because they are not based on fact. With the writing, ensure shorter sentences, because your're waffling and WAFFLE IS BAD. Argue both ways and try not to go in with a set lot of ideas because if it doesn't fit, it's not going to work. Also, keep the points concise. Make the point, explain a little, move on.