1008PSY Interpersonal Skills Tute Notes

Page 1

Tute 1

Tute 1

Notes from video:

Considerate vs inconsiderate, not noticing what the man had done for her, just thinking about herself

Looked insane in the second part, competitive

Page 2

Tute 2

1. Given constructive

At work with Sara on the amount of information to give out during a perm.

2. Given unconstructive

Bronte

3. Received constructive

Work - better ways to do something, too the point, kind, had a solution at the end

4. Received unconstructive

Jon when he kept telling me things I did wrong

Page 3

Tute 3

Receiver’s blocks to listening

Comparing

Mind reading

Rehearsing

Filtering

Judging

Dreaming

Identifying

Advising

Sparring

Being right

Derailing

Placating

In assessment identify which is being used in a situation, examples in module 1

SOLERGPA

Posture: A posture of involvement is a very important component of effective listening.

The listener should face the other person Squarely (allows listener to be at eye level with speaker and demonstrates involvement);

Maintain an Open position (arms and legs uncrossed), and they should Lean slightly forward (to communicate energy and attention).

Eye contact and Gaze: Maintaining eye contact with the speaker serves the dual purpose of demonstrating interest and allowing the listener to collect facial information. The listener should gaze at the speaker for most of the interaction, but may break eye contact and look away when they are thinking. Relaxed Facial expression: Listener should have a friendly and Relaxed facial expression. The listener should adjust their facial expression to reflect what the other person is saying.

Gestures: The head nod is one of the most important gestures in listening and is used to indicate attention and interest Small head nods – show continual attention Larger nods – indicate agreement

Proximity: Listener should not be positioned too close or too far away from the speaker. Degree of physical proximity that is considered appropriate depends on your relationship to the other person and may vary for different cultures. Usual distance for personal relationships is less than 1m and between 1.2m and 2m for social relationships.

Avoid distractions: Actively move away from distractions so that the other person has your full attention.

DIME

Door openers, invitation to talk and suggest to the speaker that you are ready to listen

Infrequent and open questions, open questions at appropriate times can facilitate a conversation and encourage a speaker to continue

Minimal encouragers, do not imply agreement or disagreement, they just let the speaker know you have heard them

Empathetic/attentive silence, many listeners talk too much, silence by the listener gives the speaker time to think and allows the speaker to set the pace of the conversation

Page 4

Tute 5

Reflecting skills:

Reflecting Feelings "It sounds like this is very irritating for you"

Reflecting Content "you're finding it challenging to talk to your partner"

Questions:

Open - "How likely are you to see him again"

Closed - "Have you started preparing for your first BST"

Solution-focused - "What do you think you might do"

Elaboration questions - "Do you want to talk about that?"

Checking understanding

Two areas of focus:

Reflecting words or phrases - reflect on feeling rather than thoughts, comment on the strength of feelings and existence of multiple mixed feeling

Verbal and nonverbal messages - The other persons verbal and nonverbal messages can often be inconsistent. As a listener you can try to reflect back the mixed message and clarify.