Types of attachments

Types of attachments

1. Secure

   • feel safe expressing their own emotions
   • communicating with others, and setting boundaries
     • be able to pick up on "red flags" before a relationship starts.
   • Can manage their emotions effectively
   • healthy, balanced, and trusting way of relating to others
   • Experience higher self-esteem
   • May not feel anxious or worried about their place in someone's life
     • trusting that people love and care about them without much reassurance.

2. Avoidant

   • Feel overwhelmed by the closeness that a partner seeks
     • that they won’t have enough “space” in the relationship.
     • anxiety about closeness.
   • expectations
     • their wishes, needs, feelings, etc.
       • will be recognized and important.
       • They often don’t have the skills to present them
         • keep these inside until they get to a boiling point
           • Feeling the need to distance to get “space.”
     • may long for the ideal lover
       • impossibly high standards.
       • focus on their partner’s shortcomings and all the ways the relationship isn’t ideal
   • Fear being a failure in a relationship
     • failing to sufficiently meet the relationship needs of their partner.
     • convinces themselves that being alone is just as good or better than being in relationship.
   • tend to be independent, and they do not rely on others for reassurance or emotional support

3. Anxious

   • Low self-esteem
     • often ask for reassurance
   • Searching for closeness with others based on an evaluation of personal worth
   • Fear rejection and abandonment
     • worry about being abandoned, or feel intense jealousy
   • Lower tendency to generate humor
   • Irony
     • using it as a way to express one’s refusal without revealing one’s feelings
     • create a self-bond with people who value them and to distance others
   • Question the intentions of others
     • avoid being harmed