Romantic Relationships

Romantic Relationships

1. Definitions

   • Liking
     • Affection: a sense of warmth & fondness
     • Respect:admiration for another person
   • Loving
     • Intimacy: a feeling of closeness and "union"
     • Caring: the concern you have for your partner's welfare
     • Attachment: a longing to be in your partner's presence
   • Romantic relationship: chosen interpersonal involvement forged through romantic communication
     • Perception: both partners perceive relationship as "romantic"
     • Diversity: romantic relationships are possible within many cultures
     • Choice: we choose partners as well as whether and how to maintain bond
     • Commitment: a strong psychological attachment to a partner and an intention to continue the relationship
     • Tensions: competing impulses between self and feelings towards others
       • Relational dialectics
         • Openness vs. Protection
         • Autonomy vs. Connection
         • Novelty vs. Predictibility
     • Communication: relationships are forged through IPC

2. Types of romantic love

   • Passionate love: intense emotional & physical longing for union with another
   • Companionate love: an intense form of liking defined by emotional investment and deeply intertwined lives
   • Storge: stable, predictable, rooted in friendship
   • Agape: patient, selfless, giving, and unconditional
   • Mania: intense, tumultuous, extreme, all-consuming
   • Pragma: logical, rational, founded in common sense
   • Ludus: uncommitted, fun, played like a game
   • Eros: sentimental, romantic, idealistic, committed

3. Sources of romantic attraction

   • Proximity: people feel more attracted to those with whom they have frequent contact
     • Mere exposure effect
   • Physical attractiveness: people feel drawn to those they perceive as beautiful
     • Beautiful-is-good effect
     • Matching
   • Similarity: we are attracted to those we view as similar to ourselves
     • Birds-of-a-feather effect
   • Reciprocal liking: knowing that the attraction is mutual
   • Resources: qualities in a partner
     • Social exchange theory
     • Equity

4. Relationship development & deterioration

   • Coming Together (IEIIB)
     • 1) Initiating
     • 2) Experimenting
     • 3) Intensifying
     • 4) Integrating
     • 5) Bonding
   • Coming Apart (DCSAT)
     • 1) Differentiating
     • 2) Circumscribing
     • 3) Stagnating
     • 4) Avoiding
     • 5) Terminating

5. Maintaining Romantic Relationships

   • Positivity: communicating in a cheerful and optimistic fashion
   • Assurances: messages that emphasize how much a partner means to you
   • Sharing tasks: taking mutual responsibility for chores
   • Acceptance: the feeling that lovers accept us for who we are
   • Self-disclosure: both partners feel that they can disclose information
   • Relationship talks: discussing the status of your relationship
   • Social networks: important members of the partners' social networks approve of the relationship

6. Issues related to romantic relationships

   • Betrayal
     • Sexual infidelity
     • Deception
   • Jealousy
     • Wedging
   • Relational intrusion
     • Monitoring & controlling
     • Invasion of privacy
   • Dating violence
     • Isolation from others
     • Use power to control you
     • Various threats
     • Emotionally abusive language
     • Shift blame to you