Relationship Breakdown

BREAKDOWN

Dissatisfaction with Relationship

Threshold - I can't stand this anymore

INTRAPSYCHIC PHASE

Social withdrawal, deep thought, resentment

Brooding on partner's faults and relational costs

Re-evaluate alternatives

Threshold - I'd be justified in withdrawing

DYADIC PHASE

Uncertainty, anxiety, hostility, complaints

Discussion of discontents

Become aware of binding forces (eg. kids) and costs incurred at the breakdown - could lead to motivation to try and fix

Talk about relationship (equity, roles, discontent)

Reassess goals, possibilities and commitment

May begin to involve others (friends/family) in dissatisfaction at relationship

Threshold - I mean it

SOCIAL PHASE

This is when it definitely spills over into the family/friend network

Makes it harder for them to deny there is a problem and also harder to reconcile

​​​​​Others take sides, offer support and help mending

May even speed dissolution through revelations about other's behaviours

Threshold - It's now inevitable

GRAVE-DRESSING PHASE

After leaving relationships, partners attempt to justify their actions

Must paint themselves as loyal and trustworthy to attract a new partner

Tidy up memories to portray their efforts well

Stories prepped for different audiences

Saving face

Threshold - Time to get a new life