ind - Attraction and Exclusion_ part two

ind - Attraction and Exclusion_ part two

1. ATTRACTION - anything that draws two or more people together.

2. SOCIAL ACCEPTANCE - people like you and include you in their group

3. REJECTION / SOCIAL EXCLUSION

4. LONELINESS - painful feeling, want more human contact, people who are lonely very little different from unlonely, e.g. attractiveness, intelligence etc.. loneliness is bad for health, have difficulty understanding emotional states.

   • CHILDREN AND SOCIAL REJECTION - children rejected if withdraw from contact, e.g. DISMISSIVE AVOIDANT - however (DA) need others.
     • ADULTS rejected for being different, groups reject insiders more than outsiders if deviant.
       • threat of rejection influences good behaviour. OLD AGE - older men more excluded.
     • UNREQUITED LOVE - saying no to a date - real reason is internal (ugly), but say the reason is external (i have the doctors), so will ask again. MEN more often rejected. rejection not unique to humans.

5. REJECTION

   • REJECTION - WILLIAMS - rejection even works when we hardly know the person that rejected us
     • TWENGE ET AL. - 2002 - self-defeating behaviours are on the rise. e.g. drug abuse, teen pregnancy etc.
       • BAUMEISTER AND SCHER - 1988 - bad trade off between short term desired and long-term undesired. e.g. bad eating, procrastination
     • BEING SINGLE. - HARRINGTON AND MCBRIDE - 1970 - single men more likely to be arrested for speeding and drink driving. WILLIAMS ET AL - 2002 - single women are more likely to abuse drugs.
       • TWENGE ET AL - 2002 - SOCIAL EXCLUSION - future alone / not alone conditions. more likely to choose worse lottery odds and procrastinated more in future alone
         • TWENGE continued... - there is a cognitive disorientation when socially excluded, to avoid distress. people are LESS INTELLIGENT after social exclusion - BAUMEISTER, TWENGE AND NUSS, 2003
     • IMPLICIT REJECTION - e.g. someone changing seats on the bus.
       • REJECTION SENSITIVITY - expect rejection so become hypersensitive to possible rejection
         • initial reaction to rejection is numbness
     • BAUMEISTER, DE WALL ET AL., 2005 - rejection undermines self-regulation, association between rejected people and eating disorders
     • BEHAVIOURAL EFFECTS - less intelligent, less generous, less cooperative, less helpful, more willing to cheat, more impulsive and self-destructive. rejection can lead to aggression, then aggression leads to rejection, vicious circle.
     • REJECTION seems like a design flaw in humans, HOWEVER some upsides, such as cognitive shut down and withdrawal from society gives others time to re-accept them.
       • HOPE?! - JARVA and OINONEN - 2007 - birth control pill stabilises emotions, protects feelings of rejection
   • REJECTION FROM BOOK
     • Can feel rejected even if playing frisbee for a for a few minutes with strangers, then excluded from the game. OSTRACISM - being excluded or ignored by others. is used in AMISH communities or military groups.
       • impact of ostracism worse when done by someone you care about and / or for a long period of time.
     • EFFECTS OF REJECTION - WILLIAMS - 2001 - effects such as pain, depression, illness, suicide, eating disorders, helplessness
       • REJECTION SENSITIVITY - hypersensitive to future rejection that they become reluctant to open up or get close to others for fear of hurt. vicious circle as this thought damages relationships.
     • TWENGE ET AL - 2003 - initial reaction to rejection is numbness rather than anxiety or sadness. people who suffer physical injuries may become numb. rejected people may do antisocial things that might alienate them further.
       • BAUMEISTER ET AL - 2002 - rejection can interfere with normal psychological functioning, rejection interferes with cognitive processing, it makes people temporarily stupid and halts reasoning. people also become more impulsive.
     • BEHAVIOURAL EFFECTS OF REJECTION
       • rejection changes how people approach the conflict between social conscience and selfish impulse. people who have been rejected are more likely to behave selfishly.
       • rejected people show decreased intelligence, IQ drops, they treat new partners with skepticism, are less generous, act in impulsive ways, can act more aggressively.
       • aggression and rejection are linked, one can lead to the other.
     • rejected due to aggression, deviance from the norm, adults and children rejected for deviancy. groups find deviance threatening. groups reject those who are prone to failure. BAD APPLE EFFECT - after one person disobeys, others will.
   • LONELINESS
     • the feeling of wanting more human contact than you have.
     • stereotype of lonely person as socially inept loser, however this is not the case, there are very few differences between lonely and non-lonely people.
     • there are variations in loneliness, it is common to have a temporary loneliness when moving to a new place etc... LONELY people DO NOT lack social skills. lonely people are poorer at figuring out other people's emotions.
     • there is more to loneliness than a failure to find other people to be with, you can be lonely living in London or New York.
       • loneliness can be an issue in either the quantity or quality of relationships.
         • lonely people spend plenty of time with others, they just do not feel satisfied after interactions with others. THEREFORE research has focused on those in people-rich communities such as universities etc.
         • lonely people sleep less / recover slower from injury etc